Im just not cutting it

Everything I say is negative, everything I comment is a dig, having a go, hurtful I’ve changed from being the number one fan to the enemy that brings my partner down.
My partner just recently moved with her 8 yr old son from a different country to stay with me. We’ve been doing the long distance thing for over a year and a half now. Things were great almost perfect given the circumstances. We saw each other 2, 3 times a month spend every day on the phone for hours on end it was like we were together even though we were miles apart.

I asked her to move over because I couldn’t stand the thought of being apart.

On the phone we would spend hours before we would get off, don’t know what we talked about but I’d enjoy sitting there sometimes not even talking just the sound of her breathing made me happy. From sunset to sunrise even somedays. 
We went through some things for her to get over but now she’s here, it’s like we just argue all the time, I can’t seem to say the right thing and I feel her tolerance of things I’d say or do is minimal. 
I love my partner with everything I have, would never make her feel bad intentionally or bring her down, nor hurt her in any way shape or form. 
Here lays the biggest problem. Everything we disagree with has something to do with her son. I know there’s a settling in period but it’s hard for me to let some things slip. Which brings us to our next dilemma. Do I just not say anything to him or about him to her because she’ll get mad or it may start another argument? Do I just sit back and watch my partner do her best. 

Do I let this child run this household and me walk on ice. We come from very different backgrounds hence why we see things a little different sometimes. Which makes things harder he’s not my kid i can’t treat him like my own cause he’s not, and il be stepping on someone else’s toes if I tried. but he is still living under my roof. 

I want to get closer to him but the way I know how doesn’t go down to well with his mum, wether that be the way I talk to him joke with him. I can never say the right thing. 
I need to fix this some how. I love my partner so much but I think we need to find a solution. I don’t want it to get out of hand.

4 thoughts on “Im just not cutting it

  1. Aw, it pains me to read that you feel you aren’t cutting it.

    I’m sure it’s a huge change going from a long distance relationship to actually seeing each other everyday and there are lots of challenges, especially with her child involved.

    I wonder if she’s struggling being in a new place? Sometimes maybe it’s not you, it’s her trying to adjust to a new life?

    As for her son, even though it might start an argument, you probably really do need to talk and figure out a way that works for all of you. Maybe even take a fun outing, kinda like a bonding experience?

    I hope things get better soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Our lines of communication I think is really good, we do talk and try to reason with each other. But that just seems to be more often then usual these days.

      I put it down to it all being new to us all and will take some time to get use to the new changes.

      Challenges we knew we were going to go through but the reality of it is a bit far from the concept. I know we will get through it.
      I just don’t want to be that guy that “changes” as she has suggested I have already, it’s hard to hear.

      Thank you so much for your feedback.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. When I married my Carole I became a stepfather of an 8 year-old boy. It’s not easy being the new foreign Dad. I went about by showing my love for his mother, just simple things, like if I bought a gift home for Carole, I’d ask him to come and see what I’ve bought Mum, and he’d sit down with us to enjoy the moment, and I’d give him a little gift as well, so we all shared together, What I’m trying to say, use your partner as a gentle go between to start up forming a bond, and please discuss your situation with her and any proposed little gentle togetherness that you are trying to do. And time, allow plenty of time. Me and my stepson are the best of friends, but in saying this, I’m no expert. Hope things work out for you as your journey continues. Maybe even show this post to your partner as a form of breaking the ice…….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for this. Helps heaps. Me and her son do get along just when it comes to things that Aren’t normal for me to see or hear and I can’t say or do nothing about it. It baffles me.

      I don’t think her seeing this will change anything. We speak about most things so she is aware.

      Liked by 1 person

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